rant
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
a word on anxiety
the golden hour light passes through your window blinds
and into your living room
you're sitting in your home,
and it's quiet and safe
until
someone's knocking on the door
first softly, then a little louder
and louder after that
you wonder who it is as you open the door
and the second you do,
anxiety is the friend that walks into the room
disrupting what was once your peaceful sanctuary
they sit with you at first and you talk and converse
they start giving you ideas
ones you never really thought of
but how strange, you start to think,
that even as they haven't been inside for longer than ten minutes
it's almost like they know exactly
where you keep your box of insecurities
almost like they know exactly
how to attack you
anxiety is the friend who sits leisurely on that sofa
legs on the coffee table
arms outstretched
marking
a territory
anxiety is the friend who'll keep on talking
to you, about you, against you
their words keep spilling out of those lips
into the air of your home
slowly it suffocates you, but first you think,
nah, i'm just too sensitive
they sit and ramble on
even when you're no longer sitting there
and as they finally leave
you find them coming back the day after
and again the day after that
some days whenever you're gone,
you find them by the doorstep once you arrive home
anxiety becomes the friend who not only sits and talks
but looks around and silently judges
your taste in home decorating
they suddenly get on their feet and paces around your living room
they're the friend who starts flipping through your calendar
"all these things coming up," they scoff,
"how will you survive?"
your mouth stays shut and you just realize
you don't know how to answer that
they're the friend who looks at your framed photos
the ones you took before junior year,
then they glance at you, up and down,
the words come right out as you're forced to hear them,
"so are you sure you don't need to lose weight?"
they pick on your flaws and they tell you what you need fixed
"let's start with those teeth, those thighs,
that nose, those hips, that hair!"
your mouth stays shut because you secretly agree
anxiety is the friend who skims through your photo album,
they point to that photo you took with your friends,
"most of them only pretend to like you, why bother?"
they throw at you only the most bitter words
anxiety looks into your bank account papers
their fingers still flipping through,
"this is how much you make?"
anxiety's the friend who asks about your love life
and tells you they don't think it's going to work
"you're high-maintenance, you know,
i mean who wants to love a mess?"
one day you work up the courage to call someone else
tell them about the uninvited guest that keeps entering your life
you stutter when you say it because you feel like you're losing your mind
but the other end of the phone just pauses then says,
"maybe you're exaggerating."
anxiety is the friend who wreaks havoc in your bedroom
leaves trash on your couch
breaks a glass in the kitchen and calls it an 'accident'
they come and go as they please
anxiety makes you panic about small things
like leaving the car door unlocked
or big things, like seeing your parents die
they watch you fretfully reach for your keys,
they watch you sink into fear
whatever happens to you, at the end of it,
they just watch you and laugh
anxiety feeds you lies
they feed you lies so often, you start to believe them
when they're not there, their words still linger in the air around you
like they'd diffused poison into the oxygen
so much so, you have trouble breathing
sometimes you find yourself suffocating
the warmth of your home has turned ice cold
inside you're numb, and outside you're shaking
golden hour light no longer comes in
you got rid of those blinds, you boarded up the windows
because anxiety told you to
strange, your home is no longer normal
your peaceful sanctuary now feels as
what it truly is without them
empty
you can never un-meet a person
you can't know their name and face, spend time with them,
then tell yourself you don't know them anymore
too late, you do.
meeting anxiety felt the same
see, they're the friend who makes a mess
they leave footprints in the form of fear and worries
when they come the next day, they add some more
after a while, though, you start to understand
the importance of not letting anxiety
become that friend who bullies you in your own safe zone
the importance of knowing which things were true, which things mattered,
which things can and might kill you
and which things that, honestly, won't.
this time, as they knock on your door
you don't let them in
their presence you no longer welcome
you've cleaned up their mess, you finally opened the windows,
it is air that you now welcome, and finally, you breathe
but the truth is, there'll be times where they highly insist
be prepared for the days where they'll just let themselves in
because you see, anxiety isn't a friend you can un-meet.
so honey, here's what i did
i let them in
and as they start to say a few words
i stand in their way before they get to that couch
i grabbed them by the hand, so hard that i didn't care if it hurt
i took them inside and i didn't listen when they said they hated the windows
i found a rope and tied their wrist to my washing machine
you might be asking, why the washing machine?
the reason is because
nobody casually walks into a laundry room
i simply thought it'd be best to place them in the room least frequently used
i closed the door, locked them in, and i walked away
they're still in my house, i acknowledged the fact
but only in the smallest, most insignificant part of it
my days went by and the home was still mine
i stayed far from the laundry room, so i didn't have to hear them
i knew they were there, but i didn't have to look at them
but honey, one day, the day they've had enough
they'll scream.
when they scream, anxiety is the friend
who'll scream so loud you'll feel it sting
anxiety is the friend who will keep banging on that door
they'll even shout your name, they'll tell you they were always right
it was just you who couldn't handle the truth
you stand outside that laundry room, you hear their voice
their words were loud and clear, but from behind that closed door,
the poison doesn't get to you anymore
anxiety is the friend who never stops talking
so i hope as you finally open that laundry room door,
you don't offer them anything but a glance
you look at their powerless pride, straight in the eye, as you finally say,
"you were never my friend."
4:58 PM
"This afternoon, I passed through a hospital on my way across town.
There was a car parked on the side of the road, and from the passenger seat, an old lady came out. Her driver already standing by with her crutches, I'd noticed her back was hunched over. Her whole body was bent severely, and I watched as she struggled to grip her walking aid. She slowly started walking to the front door of the clinic, with the driver still by her side, holding her arm as she tries with great difficulty to take each step forward.
It got me thinking about how devastating it is, that our world, and everyone else's world, seems to be doing "just fine". But look closer into other people's lives and you'll find so many who struggle everyday. Physically, mentally, financially, there are many battles many people are constantly going through. So many lives nowhere near as fortunate as some others are. Suddenly, our problems don't even look like problems. We say we feel sorry for them but we only half-heartedly put effort into appreciating the life we have now. Why is that?
I understand that that's just how it is. That humanity isn't immune to various forms of pain and suffering. But when I grow up, I guess what I'm trying to remind myself is:
I don't want to be selfish.
I don't want to be someone who keeps digging out of life like I'm entitled to it. I don't want to ever find myself sitting in a private jet, or owning a million-dollar house. I don't want a lavish car or piles of jewellery that spell my name in diamonds.
Sure, I'll take my blessings as they're given, and I'll stay grateful for the life I've been privileged enough to have. But I don't want to live a life I don't need. I don't want to keep taking. I don't want to suck every drop of what the world offers. Because I think if you shift your perspective and try to look into what the world needs, and what other people are currently facing, no amount of gold will give you true satisfaction. The "high life" no longer seems appealing.
So maybe we don't need to get caught up in any of it. Maybe we weren't made and put on this Earth to "have a nice life". Rather, maybe we were made to give life to others. And maybe, just maybe, it's up to us to make the world a little better for the ones out there.
What I say next won't make much sense, but I dream of a world with less fast cars, and more helping hands. Less "rich kids", and more compassion. Less vanity, and more humanity. A girl can dream."
Taken from my phone's notes app, written on January 31st 2017, 4:58 PM
Sorry for this small rant, but I wanted to share this because I'd written it a while ago but realised I never shared these thoughts with anybody. I'm just rambling, but I wanted to let you in on it. I can't wait to really start blogging again once I'm done with my exams. So for now, this'll have to do. Have a good week!
Living with Perfectionism
perfectionism (n.)
refusal to accept any standard short of perfection
The other day, my friends and I attended a local university's education expo. The university made a visit to my school a few days before, and yesterday, because my friends and I decided to try and apply, we submitted all our admission requirements and did an interview for them to determine whether or not we were qualified for receiving the scholarships we desired.
At one point in the interview, the lady asked,
"So Joanne, according to you, what do you think are your strengths and weaknesses?"
I kind of saw this coming, and had already set up an answer in the back of my head. I began answering and at one point I mentioned the one most noticeable personality trait I have, that other people already know about me as well.
"Well, I'm a perfectionist..."
The words tasted like vinegar as I uttered it a little quicker than I'd expected. The thing is that I've never actually admitted it so straightforwardly. But it's true, it's been a part of who I am perhaps since middle school. The title of this post might make it sound like a disease or personality disorder, but that's not the case.
In psychology, perfectionism is defined as a trait characterised by a person's strive for flawlessness. We set immensely high standards and expectations, both upon ourselves and other people. I remember times where I would get a 99 on a test (a bloody 99, which in retrospect, is actually not too horrible) and I would cry. My friends would look at me and think God, is she really this hard on herself?
When you're a perfectionist, failures (or flaws, even) are strictly unacceptable. Many people validate the mistakes they make and simply call it "being human", but for perfectionists, this is almost never the case. When you fail, you think it's because the circumstances went against you, or it must be something you lack. You start questioning everything, and your mind turns to the familiar cycle of "I should've done that instead", "This is all wrong", or "It shouldn't have happened that way". You never feel truly satisfied.
But why?
Well hey, perfectionists, why are we like this? Why do we drown ourselves in phases of "not good enough"s and refuse to give ourselves room for imperfections? Why do we choose to give ourselves that pressure of getting it right?
Perfectionism is a sprout that could come from many different seeds. The most common ones are low self-esteem and the toxic habit of overthinking. We don't feel like we are worth the chance of starting over or correcting flaws.
Comparison also comes into play. We fall into the trap of comparing our level 2 to another person's level 15, failing to take into account that they must've had many trials and errors themselves before reaching their success. But we don't think like that. We grow obsessive, thinking "oh God why can't I do this one simple thing that that person seems to have easily mastered?"
Why do we continue? It's time to step out of that shell. We want absolute perfection, but we have to learn to acknowledge limitations. To live life as it is, not through what you expect out of it, or what you want to achieve. You try your best, and with whatever the outcome, you learn to think that yes, this is enough.
Now I use my perfectionism as fuel to drive me forward. It gives a good set of motivation, because high standards pull out more productivity. It's true that for perfectionists, working is easy. We work at our own pace, and are equipped with a lot of determination. So perhaps, perfectionism is a shrub that we don't need to cut down, but we just need to prune. Life isn't always perfect, and we will not (never) be perfect, but wouldn't it feel great to actually embrace it, instead of constantly trying otherwise?
I'll write again soon.
LIFE: Changes and Galaxies (Pt. 2)
Disclaimer: This post is going to be very, very long. Stop now while you still can.
Oh, you're not stopping? What a curious soul, you. Suit yourself.
I wanted to write because I needed a space, or a time, to vent about what I've been feeling lately. It's taking me a lot of the courage that I don't have to be writing about something so personal like this, but I just needed to be honest for a minute, and talk about what's been circling my mind over the past several weeks.
Let's be honest; passion is hard. Figuring out what you really want to do with your life is hard. Let me rephrase that: Figuring out what you really want to do with your life when you're a high school student with at least 20 different hobbies or interests and a lot of ambition but sometimes a severe lack of confidence, is hard.
The truth is that I've spent my whole life thinking I really really knew what I wanted to be and what I wanted to achieve. But then, at some point in the railroads that is high school, my train stopped. It stopped and simply... changed tracks. I thought I was ready to put my heart and soul into one dream. I thought I had a path lined up in front of me, perfectly in place, and it was just a matter of getting the train to move forward. So full of assurance, so confident in the direction in which I'm heading towards. But one day I just woke up, and realised how much I've been lying to myself.
I'll just give you the details here: Ever since I was little, I was exposed to a world where you could always feel free to express yourself in many forms. (Short explanation: It's because I was raised by a father who was both an artist and a musician.) That's when I started to develop a deep, deep love for art, and music, and all things alike. I've always loved to draw, ever since like, first grade. However, when I reached 4th grade, I started liking clothes. I was a 9-year-old girl, so of course I did. I drew clothes all the time, and soon enough I concluded that I wanted to be a fashion designer. That was it. My goal, my locked destination, my obvious dream.
I took sewing classes, illustration classes, everything. But what I never told people was how much I actually did not enjoy these classes. How much vanity I saw in the fashion world, how the industry just kind of scared me more than it encouraged me to pursue it.
Now, a year before graduating high school, I realised that I'd be a fool if I continued to pursue something I didn't actually like. I've always known, deep down, that fashion was not for me. I don't dress in high-end clothing, and I don't indulge in luxurious items. I don't find joy in looking at or purchasing branded fashion items, I actually find them useless! They're pretty, sure. But what's the big deal?
My life is surrounded by so many wonderful things that I'm still in love with. Music, art, travel, photography, and many other things that made me feel happy to be alive. If I were to pursue fashion, it would be like putting all of these things aside and focusing on an ambiguous dream that I didn't find the reason of.
The truth is I'd rather sit and watch a Broadway show rather than sit and watch 20 models walk up and down a runway in glittery outfits. I'd rather go to a wedding to take pictures of the small moments of happiness between the bride and groom through a camera lens, than go to a wedding because I made the dress she's wearing. I'd rather spend hours, and hours, and hours creating a wall mural that could inspire people, instead of spending hours and hours working on, say, a couture gown. This is what my heart tells me. That I thought I knew where I was going but I never truly did. That it's starting to look obvious, what I love and what I don't.
Some people validate this. A slight change of plans. Mistakes, trials and errors. As a perfectionist, I didn't. A part of me wants to punish myself for simply changing my mind. I had it all planned out, and then one day, I just didn't like it. I hated myself, like a voice whispering that I was already a failure, or that I was obviously going to fail.
What if my portfolio doesn't make it? What if I fail to find a job when I grow up? What if I end up as a disappointment to everyone? What if, what if, what if? It has become harder for me to actually believe in myself. I feel like a person with no direct path, no talent worth seeking, no voice worth of being heard. I'm exaggerating, I know. But guys, this is how a perfectionist overthinks. And I've had enough.
I may be a perfectionist, and I could have high hopes and standards for myself, but I need to remember that I'm human nonetheless. Right now, I'm pursuing a communication design major, which basically covers everything and nothing all at once. I don't know what my future job is going to be... yet. I could be a web designer, graphic designer, blogger, photographer, or I could even find my way to be an artist, or I could just be someone who works in public relations.
The pressure from my relatives certainly doesn't help. "What's a degree in design going to give you? What jobs are there for majors like yours? How are you going to make money?" And good Lord, honestly, I wish I had a passion for medicine, or biochemistry, or engineering. Really, I do. My friends are off to become doctors and nutritionists and here I am who simply can't share the same passion for those things. I just can't force myself to love something I obviously don't.
Speaking like this, honestly, scars my ego. It does. It takes away a portion of my pride because I thought that people could count on me for being so sure of myself and for knowing what I really wanted to do with my life. Some of my friends told me they looked up to me because I "already knew where I was going". But the truth is, I don't always know. And it worries me sometimes, but other times, it pushes me forward. I know where I'm heading for the time being, and I can only hope for the best. I'll continue to pursue things that make me happy, and I have to believe that my heart will continue to lead me into paths I didn't know existed.
Because now I understand that it's not humanly possible for me to control my life the way I want it 100%. I'm always going to know more in the future than I do now. Some things I can pursue ambitiously, but some things I can only mention in prayers.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
"When I am afraid, I put my trust in You." Psalm 56:3I'm limited and I'm human. My plans have changed and my life has managed to alter itself one way or another, and I need to learn to be okay with it. One of the things I could do now is pray. Pray to a God Who has promised to never leave me, nor forsake me. A God Who promises to sustain me no matter what happens. A God Who told me to not be afraid.
Therefore I no longer am.
I'll write again someday,
lgbt in the eyes of a young christian girl
As an opening, or some sort of disclaimer, I'd like to state that everything I'm about to write on this post isn't meant to hurt or offend any group of people. I am not trying to spark an argument, nor am I trying to "promote" Christianity in any way. I just felt that I needed to take a stand on what I believe in, and clarify some things in a righteous manner to clear some perspectives, both for me and for others.
My name is Joanne and I am a Christian. I'm a high school student, therefore I well enough know what I'm going to talk about. I follow Jesus Christ, I believe in all that He is. I believe in the existence of Heaven, and in the Bible, and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Spiritually and personally, I am His.
But I'm not here to talk about religion. I'm here because I feel like there is an obvious gap or difference between what Jesus is, and what the church is. Globally, I've seen far too many issues about how the church treats people who happen to be homosexual, or transgender, or anything alike. I know the Bible, and I know Christ, and I'm willing to go to my grave saying that what some violent churches have portrayed is nothing godly.
If you happen to be a part of LGBT, on behalf of hopefully Christians across the world, I wish to start by saying I'm sorry about how some churches have treated you. Please don't let some bad people let you believe that all Christians are the same. I find it horrible that some people in my religion are going out of their way to hold up posters labelled "God Hates Fags", directed at the two men holding hands walking down the street. My God does not hate. It's just not what He does.
If you happen to be a part of LGBT, on behalf of hopefully Christians across the world, I wish to start by saying I'm sorry about how some churches have treated you. Please don't let some bad people let you believe that all Christians are the same. I find it horrible that some people in my religion are going out of their way to hold up posters labelled "God Hates Fags", directed at the two men holding hands walking down the street. My God does not hate. It's just not what He does.
I attend a Christian school, and I won't hide the fact that yes, as Christians, we are taught, and so we believe, that homosexuality, bisexuality is wrong. Against the Bible. Against what God initially wanted in the humankind He created. I'm not saying I disagree. I am a Christian, and my job is to stand up for the Bible, and for Christ.
You're right. I can't stand against what the Bible says and I won't. I have to say I disagree on homosexuality or bisexuality. However, I have nothing against other people who happen to be homosexual, bisexual, or transgender. Here's what I believe: I must live the way that Jesus lived. I must do what Jesus would have done. That is what Christianity is about. And the thing that people forget is that Jesus hates the sin, but loves the sinner.
If I happen to have friends in the future who are part of LGBT, then so be it. If the girl in my campus wants to talk to me about her girlfriend, she should feel free. If a boy next door tells me he has a boyfriend, then that's okay. If I share a class with a girl who then tells me she wasn't born a female, then I'll just nod and listen to her story.
Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people are still people. I will treat my fellow humans as humans, and that's it. I will do it because Jesus has never taught us to hate. Jesus once had dinner in the house of a corrupt, non-believing tax-collector. Jesus helped prostitutes. He heals and washes the feet of sinners with his own bare hands. Would it make sense for me then to roll my eyes and gag at the sight of a gay couple? This is why I don't plan on pointing fingers and labelling homosexuals as "sinners". We are all sinners. Always have been, always will be. It's just that we sin differently, right? The way I see it, the people of the LGBT community simply don't have the same beliefs as I do. They don't agree to my faith, and so I know that it's not my place to try and pull them into something I believe in personally.
As an example, just because Muslims aren't supposed to eat pork, doesn't mean they should go out into the world and stop everyone from eating pork. Or do you find Muslim women forcefully putting on hijabs on other women, even ones with different religions? Screaming and insisting that hair must be covered? I highly doubt it. Because that's not what religion is. It's supposed to be sacred, and personal. I believe it's more important to carry the word of God throughout my character and actions, and through the love I show to others. They must know who Jesus is by looking at how I live. They must witness His love by looking at how I can humbly respect others, including those who happen to be non-believers. That's what I call a life goal.
I have learned that avoiding or looking down on people just because of their sexuality or gender preferences will get me absolutely nowhere. And frankly, that sounds pretty evil. So whoever you are, whatever you believe in, whatever your sexuality happens to be, I am okay with that. Yes, I am wearing a cross around my necklace, but my God is a God of love and acceptance.
Please feel free to leave a comment below with your opinions, or questions even. I'll try to answer as reasonably as I can! Thank you for reading all the way to this sentence. I hope this post has encouraged you to understand a little deeper, and I do hope you find at least a bit of goodness in what I've written.
PS: If you have been following my blog for a while now you might notice that I actually posted this a long while ago, however I added a few things and made a few tweaks here and there (without losing the true meaning of this post) and decided to post it again because I felt like I needed to restate this. And also for my English assignment. Hi Miss Ella. :) Have a good evening.
LIFE: Changes and Galaxies
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| I put this photo up because I might look slightly different than how you remembered me, given the fact that I haven't written in this blog in ages. But hey, change is okay, right? |
I've been thinking about a lot of things these past few days. It's 2016, and so many has changed. Many things have happened and evolved in ways I didn't expect them to, and it's only the beginning of February.
Now, life is starting to look more like a galaxy. An endless exterior, a Milky Way, a wide open space which boundaries are unseen. In it, I see rockets, comets, shooting stars, and all things alike. They go at lightning speed towards 18 different directions, all at once. And this life, much like the galaxy itself, engulfs you. It drowns you in wonder and curiosity, love and heartache, ambition and fear, or just the feeling of being lost. But that's enough rambling. I'm not here to write about galaxies.
What I am going to write about is what's been crossing my mind a lot lately: change.
A lot of people are afraid of change. I am one of those people.
I've found that this is mainly because change exposes you to a thousand "maybe"s that could take place afterwards. Now I've never experienced transferring schools or moving to new cities or anything like that, so maybe that explains why I've spent most of my life avoiding change. It's because I have such little experience with it.
When I go through life one day after another, it almost seems like nothing is out of the ordinary. But then, I look back beyond the stones I've stepped on, and I look at myself and think, "Where did I leave my old self behind?" I open myself up to new things, only to find my mind closing in on it all over again because of a lack in courage. The courage to embrace a life that's constantly never the same.
Why are our brains programmed that way? At what point in our lives did it start to announce: "Fear change. Live the same."? Why is it that when a person says the words "you've changed", it's automatically perceived or meant as something negative? Like we lost a part of ourselves that we can never regain? What if you lost a part of yourself because you replaced it with something better?
After a series of events, I've come to the conclusion that I should accept and embrace whatever that has happened. Shifts in directions, second thoughts, a self that's no longer the same. I will allow myself to be afraid, then I'll allow myself to be brave. I'll allow myself to fall, then I'll allow myself to bruise. I'll allow myself to be certain, then I'll allow myself to change my mind. Change mustn't overcome me. Instead, it must empower me.
I am a different person than I was 365 days ago. I've been hurt and healed, I gained then lost, I suffered and rejoiced. I cut my hair short, and didn't care. I met new people, and lost touch with a few as well. I thought relationships were useless, now I see it differently. I thought I was going to pursue fashion, now I think there's more to life than just making clothes. I thought my grades should matter most to me, now I laugh at that chemistry test nobody liked or succeeded at. I never dared to speak my mind, but now I'm a brutally honest person who chooses to stay true to those around me, and to myself.
A plant changes when it grows. Therefore so must I.
I'll write again someday.
Side note: I'm sorry if you found this confusing. I just needed to let this out for a minute and reflect on it for a while (and also because I need to post twice a month now for my English class, haha). I hope this made sense to you. If it didn't, I hope that changes someday.
LIFE: New Beginnings
I can explain.
Over the last 6 months or so, some of you may have noticed that I had been taking a break from blogging. There's really no excuse to this because it was something that I intentionally did just to take my mind off things. Obviously with school, and just life in general, it just wasn't possible for me to still hold my blog.
Lately I've been feeling that maybe it's time for a fresh new start. I started to miss blogging, a lot, but I knew that simply picking up where I left off wouldn't be enough. I needed to start again. I needed a new beginning.
Which is why I finally decided to completely re-brand my blog and change the name into Life in Blue Skies (previously Thoughts in Tiffany Blue). I feel that this time, I'm going to make content that's truly going to inspire me and hopefully inspire others as well. I've gone a few steps and made a few changes in my life ever since I left and I feel like now, I'm ready to get back into blogging and start sharing with you all little bits and pieces of how things have been so far.
I couldn't really put into words how the last 6 months had been for me. Let's just say that it's easy to look all happy and cheerful on the outside, but the truth is, I spent a lot of the time thinking and thinking and thinking. About everything, my past, present, and future. I went through several stages of anxiety and, how do I say this, self-deprecation. But also in the past year, I've definitely taken a different approach towards life and happiness and self-love. I feel like now, after much contemplating, I can start living again. I hope reading this gives you the reminder to be strong, and to know that it's okay to start over. It's okay not to have it all figured out. It's okay if life has been going in circles, and it's okay if you're unsure about a lot of things. It doesn't make you stupid, it just makes you human. Everyone needs some new beginning in their lives, and that's understandable.
So basically, for the blog, I'll be posting more photography, more stories, more updates, more art, basically more of the things I love, and less meaningless rants. I'll also be utilising my social media accounts even more and I'll be networking as much as I can. I'm also hoping to be able to get to know you, who's reading this right now. I know that as this continues, it will give me room to grow and to evolve, both as a blogger and as a human being. I can't wait to begin again, and I hope you all stick around. :)
Reasons I Wouldn't Follow a Fashion Blogger
I realised some time ago that there is a difference between running a fashion blog and actually becoming a fashion blogger. As I run a fashion and lifestyle blog (where I do talk about fashion and post about fashion), I probably couldn't be considered as a "fashion blogger" yet.
But basically, I follow a very unhealthy number of fashion bloggers through my social media accounts. I literally follow so many of them, but I have come across some bloggers I just didn't choose to follow. Listed below are reasons why I would not follow a fashion blogger that I find.
- They don't use good quality pictures. - I'm not saying every fashion blogger should own or use a DSLR camera, but I am saying that good quality pictures are very important when you're trying to highlight a certain look. You can use any pocket camera (even your phone sometimes), as long as you have good lighting and the photos are well-edited. Also the size of course!
- They never say anything in their posts! - Okay, I get if you're not a person who likes to write. But it is so important for your followers to know what you've been up to, or the story behind your outfit, or how your day is going. Only a few sentences would do! I've followed a few fashion bloggers who only post pictures on their posts, and nothing else. Frankly, I felt like I didn't know them at all! All I'm saying is if I only wanted pictures, I could just follow your Instagram.
- They don't actually "style", they just wear. - The reason you are called a fashion blogger is because you are to express yourself through the fashion you wear and the styling decisions you choose. So honestly, if it's just to promote that $200 dress with no accessory whatsoever, I tend to have my doubts. You have to style as much as you can.
- They post every 145273 years or something. - Maybe it's just my impatience, but I do not want to end up following that one blogger who only posts once every 3 months or something. You don't have to post everyday, true. But I think fashion bloggers should post three or four times a week, or maybe just once a week, once in two weeks at least! Posting too rarely kind of implies that you're expecting your followers to just stick around to wait for your next post. No, we're just gonna leave.
- They tell us to shop at brands that cost at least $100 per item. - I never have any problem with the endorsements or advertising that bloggers do, but please don't expect me to buy those $500 shoes from Jeremy Scott. I do follow plenty of famous and successful bloggers who wear very high-end clothing, but I really like the ones who wear everyday, affordable clothes. Makes me think you don't have to be rich to blog.
- Their actual blog doesn't look like a blog. - A blog definitely needs a good navigation system, like putting tabs, and adding a good template, and whatnot. But the thing is, I like seeing blogs that look like blogs. As pretty as they can be, I like blogs that make me believe it's just a fashion blog with posts from a real fashion blogger person. This kind of doesn't happen whenever I enter a blog and then there's this really complicated layout that I have to kind of adapt to. It's like visiting Style.com and not a fashion blog. I do have to give them some credit because that must've taken a lot of HTML work, but I really just prefer normal-but-pretty looking blogs.
- Their taste in fashion collides with my own personal style. - Lastly, this one's kind of a no-brainer, but I obviously will not follow you if we have very different taste in fashion. I adore following fashion blogs because they provide me with a daily dose of fashion inspiration. Obviously, there's never much to say if the person I'm following wears nothing that I would wear personally. So figuring out how a blogger chooses their style is a big deal for me. If you have a very Japanese-neon-kawaii vibe, for example, to your OOTDs, then I probably won't follow you. Although it isn't a personal thing, it's still something that keeps me from following a fashion blogger.
So that's all for today's post! I can't wait to share with you my next post because it's gonna be really great and different. I hope you stay tuned!
Are you a fashion blogger? If yes, did you find this useful? Do you follow a lot of fashion bloggers? What makes you not follow one? Leave a comment below, I'd love to know what you think!
Have an awesome day!
*The fashion blogger I put in the picture above is Chiara Ferragni from the Blonde Salad. I know this post is talking about reasons I wouldn't follow a fashion blogger but I have nothing against Chiara, I'm just using her photo because she's very well-known, and have a good number of photos in high quality. I hope this didn't offend anyone.
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