lifestyle
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
A Definitive Guide to Video Conference Etiquette
Can you hear me?
Oh... you're muted.
You're breaking up a bit.
We need to talk about video conferencing etiquette.
No matter how dreadful and awkward, video calls are inescapable. They're a way of life, these days. And after a semester of online classes and attending video meetings for the past 5 months, I've gathered my fair share of experience in this territory — as everyone has lately.
Technical glitches happen to everyone. But today, we'll be dissecting more of the mannerism side of video conferencing. From the accumulated moments I've had sitting in front of a screen, filled with 10 to 200 people, here is my definitive, highly subjective guide on the do's and don'ts of video conferencing.
How to be a Morning Person (+ New Wall Art!)
This post is created in collaboration with Photowall
There is a window by my bed that stays open overnight, so when sunrise comes and the sky wakes up, I eventually do too. As light pours into the bedroom, I walk, half-asleep, to quickly turn the heater off. Then I climb back to bed, check my phone for the time and weather, and reply to texts, which would later in the day be met with a typical: "Why were you up so early??"
Good morning to you all. (Or noon? Evening? Is time still arbitrary?) Two things on our agenda today, friends. First, to share with you some advice on being a morning person. Second, to tell you about this new canvas print on my wall that I am head over heels in love with. (Hang 'til the end for a discount code!)
Good morning to you all. (Or noon? Evening? Is time still arbitrary?) Two things on our agenda today, friends. First, to share with you some advice on being a morning person. Second, to tell you about this new canvas print on my wall that I am head over heels in love with. (Hang 'til the end for a discount code!)
read, watch, and listen | what i've been loving lately
There's something almost intimate about it – when you want to really know someone, ask them what they love. Whether or not we realise it, the things we read, watch, or listen to, all become fragments that form us as a whole. For someone else, catching a glimpse of that is giving them the chance, momentarily, to look right through you. Right past your status, or your attributes – e.g. your occupation, skills, and studies.
Three hobbies of mine happen to be reading, watching, and listening. I like to think that it's essential to feed yourself with multi-sensory stimuli on a daily basis – but maybe that's just me. So written below is my "Loved Lately" list, comprised of titles I've been loving in these three areas.
i can never be a minimalist–and that's okay
We all want to live in that clean, all-white, perfect, minimalistic dream home with two well-mannered kids and beautiful, Insta-worthy breakfasts in bed with our partner every Sunday morning. We owe this to "dream home" Pinterest boards and ~aesthetic~ Instagram feeds. The "goals" of millennials; wooden drawers, rose gold furnishings, excessive natural light, and a copy of Kinfolk sitting ever so gracefully on a posh, all-white, Ikea-grade coffee table.
When I first moved into my apartment, this idea was etched into my head. My home is going to be well-lit and spotless and look good from every angle, and I'm going to love it. I'll take all the blogger-esque photos I want in it. Just a few hand-selected pieces of decoration, and the rest will be ~clean and minimal~.
That being said, here I am, in my seventh month of living here, with just two words for you – constant cleaning.
three podcasts you need to listen to
I've been incessantly, severely, obsessively in love with podcasts.
We all have our needs for entertainment, in whatever form it may take. Video games, cooking shows, an overrated Netflix series, or five-star romance novels; you name it. But as members of society in a world that's constantly changing, I think we should also feed our minds with entertainment that not only helps us pass the time, but also benefits and educates us.
We all have our needs for entertainment, in whatever form it may take. Video games, cooking shows, an overrated Netflix series, or five-star romance novels; you name it. But as members of society in a world that's constantly changing, I think we should also feed our minds with entertainment that not only helps us pass the time, but also benefits and educates us.
Over the past few months, I've been immersing myself in this world of podcasts where everyone – from journalists and politicians to celebrities and comedians – sits down to just- talk. Simply said.
Being recently detached from social media, I've been latching onto podcasts even more. In becoming increasingly obsessed, it was also cool discovering how popular they actually are. The much-highlighted Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook don't reveal much about how expansive the podcast community is, but it is, and that's certainly well-earned – there's a podcast out there for everyone.
life | turning nineteen
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| Photo taken by my good and talented friend Jamie Tung |
Seventeen was the year of brand new cars and drivers' licenses. The blinding disco lights of a birthday party. A girlhood era of high heels and makeup. Snapchat filters and high school romance. Immersing ourselves in the thrill of being young, fully embracing our moment of "I'm an adult but not quite yet."
Then eighteen was what I called an "important age". Stepping out of the carefree, party-filled teenage dream and into the age of major life decisions. What college? What career? Where do I go? What do I do? The classroom doors close. The friends say farewell. The kids embark and finally face reality.
Now when someone mentions nineteen, I picture a responsible, big girl with well-kept hair who makes everybody proud. Jeans that fit just right, soft, lavender curtains, and a clean, tidy dressing room. Adults love her, younger kids look up to her, she makes her own Christmas cards, and has her whole life figured out.
Needless to say, maybe, just maybe,
I could've imagined something a little more realistic.
I could've imagined something a little more realistic.
three things to reduce in 2018
Living alone this year has set me up for a lot of reality checks. For the first time in my life, I have been confronted with all the things that I need to reflect upon and change within myself, in order to grow into an adult who–you know–has her life together.
Some of these things hit pretty deep; like recovery, spiritual growth, and a shifting heart. And I realize now that there's not much room left in 2018–my grand year of change–for me to add things into. Rather, the challenge is to find the spaces that need a bit of a clearing up.
Some of these things hit pretty deep; like recovery, spiritual growth, and a shifting heart. And I realize now that there's not much room left in 2018–my grand year of change–for me to add things into. Rather, the challenge is to find the spaces that need a bit of a clearing up.
I've received so many new knowledges over the past 3-4 months. With that being said, I decided to write out the small list of things I've decided to have less of in 2018.
celebrate little achievements
I've been thinking a lot about the idea of "goals" and success, and how the whole January-1st-on-a-Monday situation has propelled us into this strange, whimsical start-of-the-year optimism.
And the race to fulfill all the New Year's Resolutions begins.
Maybe you met with some people over the holidays and hey, someone just got engaged! Or a quick scroll through Instagram tells you about that promotion your friend just received. Not to mention the overly concerned relatives who are always a little too curious about your love life; as if we'd all die without a relationship status.
Maybe you met with some people over the holidays and hey, someone just got engaged! Or a quick scroll through Instagram tells you about that promotion your friend just received. Not to mention the overly concerned relatives who are always a little too curious about your love life; as if we'd all die without a relationship status.
Be it comparison, peer/parental pressure, or by any other reason, everyone's been at that point in their lives where they feel like they haven't really achieved anything, have they? It's only natural, and I get it. Some 20-year-olds are still in uni, trying their best to make ends meet. But some 20-year-olds are married. Some other 20-year-olds own Google. (Probably.)
A lot can be said about "goals" and success, but the pattern is that it's always rather distant. Never quite within our reach yet. Consequently, we find ourselves stuck, thinking, I should've made it by now.
seven days of gratitude
After writing down a Christmas wish list (followed by a midnight ramble that might seem a little rough), I also didn't want to let myself forget the importance of staying thankful first. Above all else, I think a spirit of gratitude holds a lot more power than we think.
On that note, after making a list of things I want, I decided to counteract it by making a list of things I'm grateful for. Since last Monday, I started this "seven days of gratitude" thing where I find something to be thankful for at the end of each day for seven days straight. Here are those results.
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monday // for free water bottles, and books that help distract us
As someone who drinks quite a lot of water, it's always very pleasant whenever someone just gives me a bottle of water for free. A friend of mine keeps a whole box of them in her car and once we're inside, she would offer us one, and always make sure we have our bottle with us once we step out of the vehicle. I love it. A teacher also offered me one when I was visiting her house that Monday night, and it's really become one of the little things that just delights me. Also, I'm thankful for books. Not only do they help distract us from overwhelming thoughts and responsibilities, but they also distract us from our phones. Which is why I consider novels as very reliable best friends, and reading as one of my favorite pastimes.
tuesday // friendships and cereal
On Tuesday night, I joined three of my friends on a long drive across town for a little prayer meet at church (for the record, not trying to whine about living an hour away from the location BUT ANYWAY). I've been thinking a lot about friendships and how they form and develop over time; mostly constructed by the random conversations and tiny pointless jokes people share. For the record, I think that when you have friends you trust, who make you laugh and accept you as you are, you're actually pretty lucky already. As for the cereal, I had a bowl of it for breakfast that morning, and realized it's been weeks since I last had one. So cheers to cereal.
wednesday // the fact that i have the luxury of learning how to cook
And my clumsy adventures in the kitchen continue. Wednesday noon, I realized that cooking things in a pan is simple, but trying to properly cut all these vegetables? Who has the time?? I can hold a paintbrush, a pencil, a camera; anything my hands are well familiar with. But holding a knife and working with it is downright frightening. Nevertheless, even though I found out I actually need to practice on these basic things, like peeling potatoes or dicing onions, which tests both my cutting abilities and my patience, I've been kind of enjoying it. (Or at least I have to, anyway.) The gratitude part is me being thankful for always having enough food at home that I get to learn all of this, and still prepare a decent meal for the family.
thursday // love and a ukulele
Yes, I'm grateful for love, and no, I don't mean the romantic type. I mean the kind of love you see in a mother carrying her toddler around because he just woke up from a nap. Or the kind of love you see in that toddler, his arms over her neck, his whole body clinging to his mother's like it's the safest place in the world. We had an early Christmas gathering with our extended family last Thursday and it made me feel that–in the words of a great holiday movie–love, actually, is all around. Also, I'm thankful for the (slightly toyish) ukulele I keep in my bedroom, because it's always there to cheer me up with a few songs after a long day. Nothing quite like singing small renditions of Dream a Little Dream of Me until bedtime.
friday // life lessons from my mom, and a city
I have a lot of chats with my mom and plenty of those that I'm thankful for are the heart-to-heart conversations that make me learn so much. Our topics vary from dreams, to family, to my mother's admirable work-hard-and-do-good values. I'm glad I have a mother that doesn't only nurture me, but also guides me with a clear conscience and gives me solid, helpful advice to navigate the many paths my life may take. And I'm thankful for my hometown (although I'd much rather call it a city than just a "town"). I was never the child who moved around a lot and lived in multiple cities in her lifetime. Where I live now is where I've been my whole life. And as imperfect as it is, this city, with its overrated cafes, crowded shopping malls, and busy traffic hours, will always be my home.
saturday // therapy, in all forms.
Some people assume that I find the time to paint, write, or play music because I want to become better, or because I'm somehow very passionate and artistically inclined as a person. But as a matter of fact, the real reason I've been delving into these things is purely for therapy. Let's face it, life is hard and therapists are expensive. So instead, my mind has turned to therapy in other forms; reading, writing, painting, or playing whatever instrument within reach. Art/music therapy is a real thing, and it rarely disappoints. Painting a canvas with some jazz tunes playing doesn't necessarily solve all my problems but hey, it makes me feel better. Writing a long poem might not fix anything, but if it lowers anxiety levels then why not? Whether or not people can understand, I'm eternally grateful that I get to do the activities that can relieve my soul and help me breathe.
sunday // newspapers and colors
Then I blinked and it was Sunday. Firstly, I'm thankful that newspapers are still a thing. Clearly, in media, there's the "everything is digital" debate; how people nowadays would much rather read what's on their phones than anywhere else, further emphasizing the "print is dead" predicament. But I like holding onto the blind optimism that print will not die. Therefore, I think newspapers deserve a little more credit for still doing what they do. Second, I'm thankful for color. The very existence of it. I wore a blue shirt to church and it was a shade of blue I very much liked. My friend designed an entire outfit in tones of beige and brown, and it was very pleasing to the eye. Another friend wore a red sweater I found myself admiring from a distance because I just loved that specific shade and thought it looked nice. Other than that, I'm a photo enthusiast who has a lot of fun playing around with tones on Lightroom (visible through everything you see here or on my Instagram). I like adding warmth to my pictures, and I also like how a slight difference in hue gives a direct change in the mood we're trying to convey. In short, I just like colors.
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I assign myself tiny brain projects like these many times, but this one I really enjoyed. It's good to remind ourselves of the things (big or small) that simply make us glad to be alive.
That marks the end of today's post, and I'd totally recommend this to anyone who's willing to give it a shot. It's really become one of the sweetest parts of the day; crawling into bed at night with my mind trying to find the one or two things I'm most thankful for that day. Other times, these small thoughts of joy just surface like epiphanies. Do try it when you can. It can boost your positivity and make you think that whatever day you had, it may not have been that bad at all.
I hope I see you around.
compliments that aren't compliments
If there's one tool anyone can use to brighten up someone's day, it's a compliment. Compliments evoke positive feelings and interactions, they add sparks to the conversation. Even though I'm horridly incapable of accepting them, sometimes a few nice words, when said genuinely, can truly lift our mood.
However, as flattering as they may be, we also need to be cautious in expressing them. A compliment might be delivered with good intentions, but the "kind" string of words might also include a specific remark that doesn't carry a good message. Or other times, the compliment sounds a little too backhanded, sounding more like a pat-on-the-back insult.
However, as flattering as they may be, we also need to be cautious in expressing them. A compliment might be delivered with good intentions, but the "kind" string of words might also include a specific remark that doesn't carry a good message. Or other times, the compliment sounds a little too backhanded, sounding more like a pat-on-the-back insult.
1. "You're brave, for a girl."
The same problem applies if you call her "smart, for a girl", or saying she "drives good, for a girl." It's 2017; girls find jobs and speak for themselves and are not always the fearful weaklings you identify us to be. Be careful in your flattery. You may not have meant to insult anyone but congratulations, you just stereotyped the entire female population.
2. "You lost weight!"
Living in a world that worships "skinny", we tend to overlook how there are some circumstances that can make a person lose weight. Sure, they might've worked for it (in which case, do commend them for their efforts!), but what if they fell ill? What if they're under a lot of stress? What if they're stuck in a horrendous eating pattern? Does "looking amazing" seem to be on their agenda?
And call me crazy, but I still think that beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. In glorifying supermodel-type bodies and praising someone for "losing weight", we're reinforcing the "thin equals pretty" idea, which can sometimes be more harmful than it is rewarding. (I'll speak more about social perceptions of body image some other day.)
3. "You look different with makeup on!"
Did you think we bought that $30 mascara and spent 20 minutes getting ready just to look the same??
4. "How on earth are you still single?"
"You're so funny, gosh, why are you single!" "You're such a great person, I always wonder why you're still single." Ah yes, it's such a surprise in this modern era to be a fully functioning person without being in a relationship! Such magic!
We take it lightly, but is it really that hard to compliment our sense of humor without reminding us yet again that we are still single? And how are we even supposed to react to your "compliment"? "You're so funny" gee thanks "why are you single" man, I don't know????
Point is, if you have something nice to say, say it. But if you plan on following that statement by questioning the status of our love life, do consider stopping. :)
5. "You look better without glasses on!"
I know I took them off for this party, but unless I asked for your opinion, please don't tell me I look better without the one object in this world that I wear everyday.........
6. "You're pretty, for an Asian."
Last but definitely not least, I cannot describe enough how cringeworthy these words actually are. Despite your "nice"ness, what are you actually saying about the entire Asian race? Or are we continuing to promote that Western beauty standards are "ideal" and just handpicking from anywhere else?
This basically applies for every sentence that goes: "You're (insert positive adjective), for a (insert specific race)." It's not a pleasant gesture. Similar to #1, your honeyed words are served with a side of prejudice. Honestly, it doesn't take that much to be a decent person; just think of compliments that don't make you sound a little racist.
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I'll end by saying that by no means am I trying to shade anyone in this writing. Do take it lightly, dear friends, and besides, let's be honest, many of us have probably said at least one of these things before. But nevertheless, let us all try to become more considerate in the ways we communicate.
Just a short, playful reading for today,
only to entertain you guys shortly before I leave for a trip tomorrow morning.
Wish to stay updated? You can find me on Instagram.
See you around!
100 things i love
- When cars slow down to let you walk past.
- Crazy amusement park rides.
- Staying at home.
- But also traveling. In all forms.
- The feeling of tucking myself into bed after a long day.
- Beauty and the Beast. (Not only referring to the movie, but you can read my movie review here.)
- Sitting alone in a cafe (With a really good book, or a laptop to do some work.)
- Peanut butter.
- Indie magazines.
- Learning new languages.
- Worship.
- Youth; spiritual communities that make you feel at home.
- Wearing black.
- Sound of Music.
- Wedding photos of that moment where the groom sees the bride for the first time.
- Concept stores. (Example)
- Frozen yogurt.
- Friendships or bonds that make my heart full, in which I don't feel like I'm forcing or pretending to be anything.
- Long, loose, un-sexy pants.
- Morning walks or runs.
- Good podcasts.
- Photographing people.
- Going to Target.
- My bed.
- Drinking cold water.
- Christmas time and everything about it.
- Michael Buble tunes. (I'm bad at defining genres, so what is that? Jazz, swing, show tunes, all of the above??)
- Breakfasts.
- Journaling.
- Denim jackets.
- Grocery shopping.
- Whipped cream. Don't judge.
- Solitude. (Introverts, hi?)
- Days where leaves fall from the trees and flutter in the air, just because they can.
- Tidying up.
- Cold pillows.
- Mascara.
- Showers after a long day.
- Chilly weather.
- Riding on a bike.
- Doodling on my notes.
- Standing on a shore and looking into the horizon.
- Watching orchestras, and being immersed in that musical trance.
- Wood elements in home decor.
- Brick walls.
- Videos of ballet dancers.
- The Overtunes.
- Deep conversations.
- Winter coats.
- Imitating different accents and dialects (or at least ridiculously attempting to.)
- Granola.
- Long, chill drives accompanied with music.
- Kind and friendly strangers.
- Exploring Ikea (or any furniture store, imagining I'm looking for items for my own future home.)
- The smell of freshly toasted bread.
- Long, sincere, and lovely messages from fellow bloggers that they leave on my posts.
- Pyjamas that are made out of satin/silk and make you feel all ~fancy~.
- Nailing the eyeliner on the first try.
- Looking at houses.
- Warm drinks on a cold day.
- Sleep.
- Looking out the window on a train ride.
- Looking out the window of an airplane.
- Or just staring out of windows in general.
- Singing when no one can hear me.
- That big mouth filter on Snapchat.
- Trustworthy leather bags.
- The colour blue.
- Dessert.
- Theatre plays.
- Face masks.
- Yoga.
- Big dogs!!
- Dogs that look like tough guard dogs but are actually such sweet creatures with loving eyes. (Yes, give me all the sweet German shepherds and Rottweilers you have.)
- Old, classic TV shows.
- Successful naps.
- My 50mm f/1.8 lens.
- Mountain breeze.
- Sketching flowers.
- The fact that turning the batteries inside a remote control to trick it into thinking you changed the batteries actually works.
- How the colour brown matches navy blue.
- Keeping tokens of travel memories (train tickets, city maps, boarding passes.)
- Morning light.
- Flannel shirts.
- Watching the steam come out of a hot drink, and how it sort of dances out of the cup and wisps into the air.
- A refreshing bowl of fruit.
- Disney soundtracks.
- Waking up early.
- Waking up late.
- Spoken word poetry.
- Having short hair.
- Oversized T-shirts.
- Smiling at strangers who then smile back.
- Modest jewellery.
- Tall trees.
- Pretty, scented soap bars.
- Having people pronounce/spell my name correctly.
- Trying on the first silliest hats/headpieces I see in a clothing store.
- Acapella sounds.
- Every moment in my life where anyone ever made me laugh.
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The last "100 Things I Love" list I made was written when I was 15, so I figured it was quite outdated. This took me practically weeks to put together, but I suggest you try it as well. Find 100 things that make you feel grateful to be alive; it helps you look on the bright side. Happy Sunday!
I'll write again soon.
I'll write again soon.
Things I Need to Tell Myself (2)
August 11th 2017.
It was a rainy afternoon in Bandung, and strangely enough, I'd found myself in a peculiar small cafe in the Dago area. Art installations, wooden furniture, and a pleasantly quiet atmosphere made me feel very much at home in this little place I randomly decided to visit.
Alone, I had a table to myself, overlooking a view of mountains, trees, and hillsides from a distance. I'd ordered a warm, sweet drink, and my first thought was, I should've brought my book with me today. Making the most out of the situation, I simply sat still. I admired the sight of nature displayed in front of me, my fingers embraced the warmth of the cup I had in my hands, I felt the gentle mountain breeze sweep through the room, and then I paused.
A lot can happen in a pause. In this case, I paused and I began to reflect. What a whimsical year it's been (so far), and boy, what magnificent hopes and dreams I had for the next several months. Like any writer would, I decided to take note of them; all the thoughts, contemplations, and life lessons that started surfacing in my mind and came to me like that mountain breeze. The list below, unedited, is what I wrote down, in that rainy afternoon.
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1. The world doesn't stop for anybody. Time doesn't pause just because you need it to.
So embrace this life of yours that doesn't stop moving.
Because it's all you have, and it's all you can do.
2. Hot chocolate is good for the soul, and any health
magazine that tells you otherwise is not worth your time.
3. Find a person who sees all of you and still wants that.
You can't spend the rest of your life only being a part of who you are.
4. The rain is nature cleansing itself.
We (and our activities and cities and "plans for the day") are just standing in the way.
5. Love is simple, life is complicated.
That's why it becomes challenging for the two to simply co-exist.
6. You do not have to look, or talk, or live, or be, like everybody else.
7. Master the art of being alone without being lonely.
8. Different experiences come from different places and different people.
In a pursuit of an interesting life, there is no use only sticking to what you know.
9. Write in a journal but make is as messy as your life feels like.
Pretty is boring, make it annoyingly unreadable.
10. In this world, there will always be art that you cannot comprehend,
the same way that there will always be people that you cannot understand.
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I'll write again soon.
What to Do When You Hate Exercise
Some people like to exercise when they're stressed. Others prefer to treat themselves with a cozy blanket, a good cup of tea, and a nice movie playing. If you're reading this, I'm going to assume you're the latter.
Personally, I'm not a big fan of exercise. Sure, I enjoy it (to an extent), but I don't love it either. Lately, because I have more free time (and motivation overall), I do find myself hating it less and less. But for people who a) are busier than me, b) have issues with being sweaty, or c) simply don't enjoy the act of exercising for any reason, it can be hard to live in a world of gym selfies, SoulCycle memberships, and high-intensity weight-loss workouts (or whatever they call it these days.)
Haven't you ever seen an article titled, "If You Hate Exercise, This Will Change Your Mind." and just thought, Kind sir, I'm flattered, but I'll be honest with you. I just hate exercise, and nothing will change my mind?
"Do it with a friend!" Even though tips like these were written with good intentions, for some, it might not do much. What if all our friends love exercising, while we still hate it with a passion? No amount of jumping jacks ~*done together*~ can fix that. Although I enjoy the company of friends very much, my point is that if you want to do something you don't like, most times, you'll need that drive from within.
Have I mentioned that it's okay to hate exercise? Regardless of the "health-shaming" you're gonna get (I'll write more about that term some other day), it's quite normal to hate it. My limbs burn and I run out of breath and my body is sore and sweaty all over, and you're telling me I'm supposed to like it? Nuh uh.
However, at the end of the day, physical activity is still crucial for your long-term health whether you like it or not. I don't want to corner you into thinking you should "stop being lazy" or whatever, and trust me, I know it sucks to have to go outside or stand up from the couch. But it'll suck a lot more to be stuck in a hospital bed for weeks later on in your life. So if you're still trying to avoid exercise, here are some things you can consider doing that aren't technically "exercising", but are still quite close:
- Stand or walk around in your home. | There are plenty of things you can do while standing up or pacing around your living room. I do it after I eat because it helps the body digest properly. You can also do it while you're doing things like studying or memorising something, rehearsing for a presentation, or even brainstorming for ideas.
- Learn to like health food. | Ever heard that your health is 20% exercise and 80% diet? Well, there's your good news, fellas, because at least that gives you a maximum of 80/100 on your overall physical health. No, you don't have to throw away your milk or burn your Oreos to the ground, but it'll be beneficial if you can at least learn to like eating healthy every now and then. Aim for balance! Learn to make friends with fruits and vegetables and refreshing salads, so that your body can still be nourished and at its best condition without necessarily working out.
- Volunteer to babysit. | If you've experienced having any form of baby/toddler inside your home, you'll know exactly what I mean. If you have a small nephew/niece, or if any of your friends might need someone to look after their children, volunteer to help! Playing with children can be just enough activity that forces yourself into moving, and (sometimes) the fun makes you forget how tiring it is. I swear, chasing after a toddler on sugar rush can feel like it burns just as many calories as a morning jog.
- Tidy up your living space frequently. | It wouldn't hurt to start cleaning up your space more frequently than you used to, say, about once a week or so. It can be your apartment, your bedroom, or even your entire home. You have to admit that tidying up isn't always an easy feat. If you're not necessarily a neat person, decluttering and putting things to where they belong will take a lot of time and energy to get done.
- Find/buy clothes you can exercise in. | But not too many. (Because let's face it, you're not gonna wear it THAT often anyway.) The truth is, you kiiiind of can trick yourself into thinking that you don't hate exercise a lot. This can be as small as only purchasing one set of activewear, or just one pair of yoga pants. At least when the time comes, or when one of your friends insist you join them for some sporty activity or working out, or if your long-lost motivation suddenly knocks on your door, you'll be prepared. If you wish to slowly get into exercise, stay tuned 'cause I'll have a post on that very soon.
- LIFE. | Honestly! Wondering what to do with yourself if you hate exercise? Live! Do you!! I get it, human beings are very capable creatures, and sure, our bodies can do a lot of things, but measuring your body's abilities only by how much exercise it can do isn't entirely an accurate move. It's highly important to keep yourself active, but alongside these tips, you seriously don't have to keep being hard on yourself for not choosing to go to the gym, or for not going on a run each morning. At least you still have time and energy for your other hobbies! Making music? Painting? Reading? If you want to reduce your TV-watching or Instagram-scrolling, there are plenty of other options you can take to start fulfilling your life. Invest in whatever makes you happy.
And that's all I have for you today! I hope you liked it and found it helpful. Don't hesitate to leave a comment below because I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you're reading this, that means I'm currently on vacation in Bali and I'd scheduled this post before departing. I can't wait to share bits and pieces from my trip once I get home so stay tuned!
As always, I'll see you around.
Things I Need to Tell Myself
- Crying is okay. In your earlier years, you might've heard that it was an unnecessary act, but now, growing up, you'll find that crying is very much necessary.
- Both physical and mental healing take time.
- Try to avoid driving on days where you're struggling with some anxiety or low self-esteem. You just don't want to end up making bad decisions from behind the steering wheel.
- But if you do need to drive, do it with extra caution. You are safe, you are present, your life is valued. Repeat these things to yourself enough times for you to be calm.
- You are making progress everyday. Slow progress is still progress, and just because you're not moving as quickly as you'd expected yourself to, you are still moving.
- Drink water, drink water, drink water.
- The future is terrifying only if you convince yourself that it is.
- Eat food, Jo. Eat real food, eat wholesome food, eat good food, eat any food, eat the food you have been blessed with. But my God, stop fearing it so much.
- Many people are unaware of your struggles. When they make commentaries toward you that seem to pinpoint these battles you're fighting inside, battles they don't know of, learn to cope and receive it lightheartedly. It's not their fault, and it's not yours either.
- Embrace a broken heart. It'll make you create things you'll be proud of.
- There are going to be times where you feel like you're overreacting. Like you're just "overly sensitive" or "exaggerating". These voices will linger but let them be. Besides, how else are you going to find writing material?
- Breathe.
I'll write again soon.
Songs You Should Already Be Listening To
Happy November 1st!
I have to say that there was a time when my playlist had been looking a little dry. But over the course of October, I did find some amazing tracks, and some of them are so great, I find myself repeating each one. Most of these songs listed are actually quite popular, so give them a listen if you haven't already!
I have to say that there was a time when my playlist had been looking a little dry. But over the course of October, I did find some amazing tracks, and some of them are so great, I find myself repeating each one. Most of these songs listed are actually quite popular, so give them a listen if you haven't already!
- Never Be Like You - Flume ft. Kai - Strangely I heard this song a few times before rediscovering it, but this one time my friends started singing to it and instantly I thought, why haven't I loved this song yet? It's on repeat nearly every morning. Such a good beat.
- Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur - I couldn't remember how I came across this one, but first I thought it sounded mainstream. After a few times, I was stuck. The lyrics are so nice *swoon* and it has a beautiful tune, to be honest.
- 24K Magic - Bruno Mars - Leave it to Bruno Mars for making a track that miiiight be a little R-rated, but leaves you hooked. Not the best to hear from him, but it has that awesome jazz, old-school vibe I've always loved him for.
- Heaven - OneRepublic - If you haven't listened to their new album (Oh My My), you definitely should. I heard of the album release quite a while ago but never got around to checking it out. But my boyfriend recommended some to me and this track is definitely my favourite. The rest aren't bad as well!
- Subway Car - Marc E. Bassy - It's going to take a lot to try and find this artist online, but honestly, some of his songs are just rad. His style of music is very authentic and different from other small artists I've come across, and this song in particular is addicting.
- All We Know - The Chainsmokers ft. Phoebe Ryan - Out of all the songs on this list, I'll be honest, this one has the least lasting effect for me. But if you're still a big fan of the Chainsmokers (like I sort of am), you won't regret checking this out.
- Inside Out - The Chainsmokers - This song, however, had a very lasting effect. I'm so in love with every second of this track, from the verse all the way to the chorus. The tune is so so good, and I find myself singing this over and over again.
- Walls - Kings of Leon - I found Kings of Leon after spotting them at one of Taylor Swift's Instagram photos, and now I just wish I'd discovered them sooner! Their new album (Walls) sounds pretty convincing, and this one song is very very nice.
- Capsize - Frenship & Emily Warren - As far as popular songs go, this one became quite well-known, but not so popular to the point where it becomes mainstream and overplayed. So that I love. I think it's a killer track, and it's exceptionally good.
- Elevation Worship - My ultimate, favourite music discovery from October has to be Elevation Worship. For fellow Christians out there, I'd totally recommend their newest album, Here as in Heaven. The songs are astounding and there's something about their sound that is really breathtaking. I'm so stuck on songs like Resurrecting, Here as in Heaven, and O Come to the Altar. The lyrics are absolutely powerful and amazing as well.
Have you listened to these tracks before? Do you see any favourites?
Leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you. :)
Have a good month.
First Day of October
Time certainly flies. (Do you see those leaves falling already?)
One of the first things I did on the first day of October was I drove my car for the first time ever (yeah no big deal ha-ha-ha). Since I'm now 17 and have finished my driving lessons, my mom's been making me drive as much as I can until I can get the hang of it. Yesterday I used my own car for the first time, and went slow and played safe, but I realised I wasn't that bad of a driver! It just so happened that my instructor was a man of many words (mostly telling me all the things I did wrong). But as it turns out, I drive just fine.
For lunch, mom and I went to the mall to this Indonesian restaurant called Linkafe. They served Indonesian cuisine and we basically met up with my relatives who recently flew in from New Zealand. It was a nice afternoon and even though I've been there before, I've come to really admire the interiors of the restaurant itself. The blue walls and cushions kind of just speak to you, don't they?
Pictured above is one of Indonesia's greatest snacks called pisang goreng which literally translates into fried banana. Yes, it's batter-fried slices of banana. Don't question it. It's amazing. Shortly afterwards, we had a lovely chat with all of them to catch up, and at around 3 PM we left because I'd been invited by Intro Magazine to the grand opening of their new retail space!
Intro is a new local e-magazine (although they make prints too) launching their first issue this October. I found them through Instagram and completely fell in love with their content- both aesthetically pleasing and fascinating to read! Their columns are thought-provoking, informative, and overall really enjoyable to read. Not only that, but they're also highly innovative with their new concept, that is turning their magazine into a retail space.
Located at the other side of town, yesterday was a grand opening of the space where they make the magazine come to life. Their motto is "step into a magazine. Literally." And that is indeed literally what happens.
As the magazine covers many topics circulating food, fashion, etc, the retail space (inhabiting a two-story, all-white-black-and-wood, Instagram-worthy building) shows the actual fashion brands featured in the magazine's issue, and these brands will have their space on the upper floor and display their clothes and sell to customers just as you would in a market! The same with the ones focused more on interior and home & living. Food was highly talked about in the magazine too, and in the house all these different local businesses (mentioned in the magazine) set up their own pop-up stands as well, and take their place on the first floor, making the area similar to a food court with a really large variety of food.
Aside from the grand opening, they also held a food tasting event that I was invited to through Instagram. This is where all these aforementioned local food enterprises serve their dishes for a taste test done by a large group of people (I'd say there were about 30 people pitching in. Me included.) I had an invitation for 3 people so I took my mom and my sister to do the food tasting with me. It was great and we loved it.
I found the many local businesses to be really creative with their menus, and each one provided excellent taste, so voting for whichever one we thought deserved the Intro Magazine's Best Dish Award of the Night was certainly a challenge. A few of my favourites- not gonna say which one I voted for though ;) -would be:
- Doré by LeTAO's signature Fromage cake. I'm really in love not only with the brand and its design and branding, but also their famous Jakarta-based cheesecakes that I got to try yesterday. Totally glorious.
- Lareia Cake & Co's dishes. They actually served four different menus in the food tasting, but I do recall their to-die-for Tres Leches cake. I've always been a huge fan of Lareia (they make the prettiest cakes that also taste really good!)
- The Egg'es Project's salted egg burgers. The dishes they served in the taste test came in mini burgers and I thought the idea to put salted egg in a burger was pretty cool. (I might be biased though, because I love eggs. Salted ones especially. And burgers, though! Who doesn't love burgers?)
Other than these, there were also a prawn salsa tortilla, pork belly rice, and a few other dishes. We hadn't had dinner but certainly left the place feeling full and perfectly satisfied!
Finally, we ticked a box in our little pieces of paper and put the vote into the glass bowls provided. We sadly had to leave early because it was getting late (not to mention a long way from home), so we didn't get to see as they accumulated the votes to award the Best Dish of the Night. As it turns out, the winner was the golden cheesecake franchise, Doré by LeTAO. Very well deserved!
All in all, this was an awesome experience. I applaud Intro Magazine for creating such a cool idea and successfully bringing it to life, and I also congratulate them on the launch and the grand opening. I'm so glad that I was able to experience this, especially since my dream job is to end up working in a magazine someday. Opening myself up to events and things like these is definitely beneficial, and helps me to learn more about the creative industry that I'm so eager to delve into.
How did you spend your first day of October?
Leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you guys. :) I hope you have a good week!
I'll talk to you soon.
Living with Perfectionism
perfectionism (n.)
refusal to accept any standard short of perfection
The other day, my friends and I attended a local university's education expo. The university made a visit to my school a few days before, and yesterday, because my friends and I decided to try and apply, we submitted all our admission requirements and did an interview for them to determine whether or not we were qualified for receiving the scholarships we desired.
At one point in the interview, the lady asked,
"So Joanne, according to you, what do you think are your strengths and weaknesses?"
I kind of saw this coming, and had already set up an answer in the back of my head. I began answering and at one point I mentioned the one most noticeable personality trait I have, that other people already know about me as well.
"Well, I'm a perfectionist..."
The words tasted like vinegar as I uttered it a little quicker than I'd expected. The thing is that I've never actually admitted it so straightforwardly. But it's true, it's been a part of who I am perhaps since middle school. The title of this post might make it sound like a disease or personality disorder, but that's not the case.
In psychology, perfectionism is defined as a trait characterised by a person's strive for flawlessness. We set immensely high standards and expectations, both upon ourselves and other people. I remember times where I would get a 99 on a test (a bloody 99, which in retrospect, is actually not too horrible) and I would cry. My friends would look at me and think God, is she really this hard on herself?
When you're a perfectionist, failures (or flaws, even) are strictly unacceptable. Many people validate the mistakes they make and simply call it "being human", but for perfectionists, this is almost never the case. When you fail, you think it's because the circumstances went against you, or it must be something you lack. You start questioning everything, and your mind turns to the familiar cycle of "I should've done that instead", "This is all wrong", or "It shouldn't have happened that way". You never feel truly satisfied.
But why?
Well hey, perfectionists, why are we like this? Why do we drown ourselves in phases of "not good enough"s and refuse to give ourselves room for imperfections? Why do we choose to give ourselves that pressure of getting it right?
Perfectionism is a sprout that could come from many different seeds. The most common ones are low self-esteem and the toxic habit of overthinking. We don't feel like we are worth the chance of starting over or correcting flaws.
Comparison also comes into play. We fall into the trap of comparing our level 2 to another person's level 15, failing to take into account that they must've had many trials and errors themselves before reaching their success. But we don't think like that. We grow obsessive, thinking "oh God why can't I do this one simple thing that that person seems to have easily mastered?"
Why do we continue? It's time to step out of that shell. We want absolute perfection, but we have to learn to acknowledge limitations. To live life as it is, not through what you expect out of it, or what you want to achieve. You try your best, and with whatever the outcome, you learn to think that yes, this is enough.
Now I use my perfectionism as fuel to drive me forward. It gives a good set of motivation, because high standards pull out more productivity. It's true that for perfectionists, working is easy. We work at our own pace, and are equipped with a lot of determination. So perhaps, perfectionism is a shrub that we don't need to cut down, but we just need to prune. Life isn't always perfect, and we will not (never) be perfect, but wouldn't it feel great to actually embrace it, instead of constantly trying otherwise?
I'll write again soon.
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