Last Wednesday was the date of my country's Independence Day (71 years free!), and it was an eventful day. Soon after, I realised that this was going to be my last time celebrating my country's Independence Day inside my country. Chances are, I'll already be studying abroad by next year, and 3 years after that. So I wanted to somehow show a sense of pride for my nation. Hence, this photoshoot.

A kebaya, according to Google, is a light, loose tunic worn by women in Malaysia, Indonesia, and other Southeast Asian countries. No offense Malaysia, but I think my country deserves ownership over this one.

The kebaya usually comes in a full head-to-toe outfit (yes, the waist-cinching, body-hugging, fitted type of traditional attire.) However, my mom happens to sell these tops along with her friend. The top resembles the upper half of the kebaya, but in this case, you can wear them however you'd like. The trend has become quite popular among girls around here, and I love seeing it. I decided to pair my top with a pair of black jeans because who has time to coordinate outfits? Not me.

I loved wearing it (it was a little big around the waist, but still). In a glance, it obviously looks like your typical ethnic southeast Asian traditional wear. However, I am absolutely in love with both the colour and the intricate hand-sewn details resembling flowers around the front and sides. It gives a sense of femininity. Many other varieties of flowers were available, so a lot of these actually come in different colours and styles. It's also quite practical since I get to wear it with anything like any casual top I own.


There was definitely something empowering about wearing this, not only because it reflected my nation, but because it became a symbol of two things I know I am: An Indonesian, and a feminist.

• "Wolves" - One Direction (I ended up loving this song more than I planned. It's just addicting.)
• "Can't Stop the Feeling" - Justin Timberlake (Such a good song, JT never fails to take my heart away. The ultimate feel-good song with a really cool beat you can totally dance to.)
• "Talk Me Down" - Troye Sivan (This song feels really slow and melancholic, but in a way it just consumes you. I don't know. Listen to it if you haven't, guys.)
• "This Is What You Came For" - Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna (This is kind of a fresh song and I'm just literally obsessed. So so good.)
• "Masterpiece" - Jessie J (An oldie but goodie. The lyrics are amazing and they really speak to me personally, and her vocals are flawless.)
• "Army" - Ellie Goulding (This song was played during my high school's graduation gala and I instantly fell in love with the chorus. Ellie continues to mesmerize.)
• "Til Kingdom Come" - Coldplay (I don't normally listen to Coldplay anymore but my boyfriend recommended this and I loved it the minute I heard it. So beautiful, and it just got to me in a deep, personal level at that time.)
• "Steady Me" - Hollyn (I'd never heard of this artist before but I really really like this song. It turned out to be gospel, as I realised after a while, but just a really nice tune.)
• "If It's For You" - The Overtunes (The Overtunes is a band from my home country, Indonesia, and I happen to love their music. This song's always been one of my favourites.)
• "Is It The Answer" Reality Club (This might be a little unexpected but the Reality Club is a band from Jakarta, I found it because the lead singer happens to be one of my fave YouTubers, and I listened to their first single and this turned out to be so good.)
• "Nobody" - Selena Gomez (I don't know why I loved this song so much when I heard it, but the chorus just kind of sweeps you off your feet. It's beautiful, I love it.)
• "Real Love" - Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne (Again, quite an old song but I listened to it again recently and fell back in love. I've always been a huge fan of Jess Glynne because of her vocals and style of music in general. SO good.)

When I got home, I finally saw my sister, brother-in-law, and my baby nephew. Knowing that my brother would finally come home later that day, I was beyond excited. Having a big family, getting to be with all of them becomes rare. The fact that we were going to be at least almost complete just made my happiness.

1. Wear clothes that hide every inch of your skin. As females, we do have an advantage when it comes to fashion. But as a lady, you must not reveal any skin that men might find "distracting". Play along to the dress code, even if it means you can't wear tank tops because your shoulders are too distracting for other people. :) You must cover everything. Because if you dress the way you want and a guy takes advantage of you or tries to assault you in any way, that's totally your outfit's fault. Even if you weren't wearing a small short dress. If you were wearing jeans and a man still found you appealing and tried to rape you, people will think it's because of what you were wearing, then they will completely ignore the man's lack of moral values and it'll still partly be your fault. :)
2. Get married and have kids! (Or at least plan to.) If you have no plans on getting married or having kids of your own, then how dare you call yourself a woman? We were obviously made to be mothers, so God forbid you even think about not getting married or having children. It's your ~*purpose*~. You must also be excellent at cooking. Don't call yourself a woman if you can't cook properly! :)
3. Be nice and accepting all the time. No matter how many men catcall you while you're walking down the street, as a lady, that's just something you have to accept. Don't lash out, just be okay with people whistling at you and randomly calling you names and checking out your body like it's a totally normal thing to happen! :) You should also be flattered every time someone compliments you, even when you know it's because they're trying to hit on you like you're nothing. Also, you must always be gentle. Never raise your voice and never speak for yourself.  Rather, be reserved at all times. Always let them have the last word. Women aren't supposed to be bossy or dominant in any way. 
4. Don't get a job! Well you can get a job, but not a hard one because gosh, you're a woman! In relation to what I said earlier, women weren't made to be the boss in anything! It's better for ladies to stay at home, cook the meals, take care of the children, and let their men do all the work. Being independent is so naive and unnecessary. Just find a husband who will provide for you! But of course, if you still need to find a job, then stick to the simple ones. Stuff like engineering and mechanics are just way out of our league.
5. You're not supposed to have a muscular or athletic body. Oh come on, ladies, stay slim! You have to know that in today's society, you either should have really great curves or a really tall slender figure. Muscular bodies just don't work for women. Society doesn't want us to look strong, but to look desirable! :) Women with too much muscle tend to "scare people away". So remember, keep it petite.
6. Avoid driving. Leave it to men! We're women and you know what that means? We're horrible drivers! So just stop doing it and leave it to the guys, because if you make a small mistake on the road, people are simply going to conclude that it's because you're a woman, not because you're a normal human being who is allowed to make a few errors. :) 
7. Stop complaining about the wage gap! Men already have it sooooo much harder, you guys. Can you imagine having to provide for his family? Even though you have a family, it's obvious that your role is to stay at home and do all the motherly chores you were supposed to do, so you never needed a reasonable pay check anyway, right? So what if you only make 79 cents for every dollar a man makes? Just settle and deal with it!