Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Pretty But Unpretty

This is the reason why beauty is a lie.
The reason why "pretty" is nothing but a contradiction.
This is the reason why nearly every female throws themselves into an abyss of "I am unattractive".
This is the reason, and I'm going to talk about it.

Here's what I know. If you ask a girl what she loves in this world, she'll know exactly what to say. From country singers to punk rock bands, from rosy dresses to chunky sweaters, from cats to dogs, from her best friend to that boy in her class, from her mom to that one aunt she really likes. She will go on and on until you stop her. But how long do you think it'll take for her to say "I love my body"? How many "I love"s does it take until she finally decides to say "I love my freckles", "I love my eyes", "I love how I look"? Why is it that 44% of teenage girls in high school are already attempting to lose weight? Why is it that a girl who feels like she's a little too thick is willing to stop eating completely? Why is it that a girl has to think twice, three times, four times, on whether or not she deserves to eat that slice of cake? I am writing this as a form of rebellion. As an outburst of I've-had-enough. This is a declaration, a digital pepper spray into the eye (except, more uplifting than it is painful), an announcement, a reminder, and a revelation.

Girls,
I am here to tell you that it's okay. I'm not going to start with how it's okay to "be how you are", because plenty of people already say that and yes, I do agree. But firstly, I'm here to tell you that it's okay to feel ugly. It's not good for you, but it is normal and you should not stop yourself from feeling anything just because you feel like it will turn you into less of a good person. It's okay if you feel insecure wearing shorts, it's okay if you feel like you might not always have it all together. It is okay. But please keep in mind, ladies, that this doesn't mean you are what you think you are.
Darling, I get that you're upset. You're upset because you're not losing weight, or maybe you're just upset because you don't have stronger cheekbones or thinner figures or bigger eyes. Maybe you're just upset because you think you shouldn't have eaten that cookie this morning. But darling, exactly how much longer do you want to go on like this? Are you willing to grow old, and spend the rest of your days counting wrinkles instead of blessings? To treat food like an enemy, instead of a fortune that some people don't have?
Ladies, look at your arms. Look at your hands and fingers. You could control them! Your muscles easily dictates their movements! Look at your feet and your legs that carry you around when you walk everyday. Put your hand on the sides of your face and feel that there is nothing, absolutely nothing missing from you. There is nothing wrong with your body.

So it is okay.
It's okay if your freckles show, because someone out there thinks that freckles are adorable.
It's okay if you don't have that perfect limited-edition-Victoria's-Secret-Angel flat stomach that you probably dream of, because those angels worked long and hard for it too. Don't set yourself on an unrealistic standard, because honestly, I bet your future husband wouldn't care if you didn't look like Adriana Lima.
It's okay if your thighs touch, because honey, what use is a thigh gap anyway? Will a thigh gap give you endless and eternal joy throughout your next probably-70 years here on earth? Will it keep you away from the devil's schemes, or help you do good in school? What? What'll it do for you?
It's okay if you're "a little too thick", it shows that you are healthy and well-fed. You're not fat! According to the dictionary, "fat" is a natural oily substance found in the bodies of animals and humans. You're not fat, you have fat and so does practically every breathing thing on this earth that walks.
It's okay.
It's okay if you wish you had a little meat on your bones as well, and I know most people say "skinny isn't always beautiful", but screw them or those campaign ads. If you're born skinny, if your collarbones constantly seek the light of day, hell, if your thighs don't touch, then you're still beautiful because you are made that way!
It's okay because you have feet and arms, and you have a pair of eyes that can see all the beauty in the world. You can watch a Disney movie, you can look at sunflowers, you can see stars and clouds and skyscrapers right above your head. Don't you think it's about time to start seeing the beauty in yourself too?
It's okay.
And it is okay if you feel like you're just not quite there yet, because maybe your body will change someday if you do some great changes in your lifestyle (such as living healthier to get you the body you want) (and yes, I will post recipes) but don't do it because you hate the body that you are in now. Do it because you love your body. Do it as a form of taking care, not as a form of punishing. It is a sanctuary, a jewel. It is your most sacred and personal belonging.
It is a shell! Like an oyster locking away a stunning and beautiful pearl. You are that pearl. Your good heart, your radiant personality, your ability to jump and laugh and cry and feel every emotion possible. That pearl is how you smile, how you tell stories, how you hug your friends, how you read your books, how you spend your time, how you find happiness in the little things that surround you everyday. You're a walking jar of dreams, fuelled by a strong will and a courageous soul and a favourite song.
So everything with you is okay. It is okay.
You are okay.

From the girl who's on the journey of practicing self-love and self-respect,


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