Thursday, November 20, 2014

Bigger

Fifteen is an interesting age. I've only been experiencing this for 5 months now, but I feel like there are more ups and downs in my life already than there are stray cats in my neighbourhood.



A couple of days ago, I was in the middle of school hours and our class had finished early. We were waiting for the next period, and so we waited on the 3rd floor. I looked at the clock and started wandering around. My school is a small place, so you can never get that lost. I walked slowly around the hallway, only to find that my friends are so busy minding their own businesses. I liked it, I liked when I finally realized I had at least a few minutes to myself. Not very aware of the reason, I just wanted to go towards the library. I did want to read a book there but then my mind just held me back. After that, I found myself standing in front of the doors of the library, looking out through the gigantic glass walls, only to see the empty street in front of our school, and the trees that spell beautiful. The moment was still and absolutely valuable. Every sound in the world diminished from my existence, just to leave me with myself, my view, and my location at that time. I realized I was standing in front of the library. My mind raced to how my friends and I would come to the exact same spot every morning to share stories and laugh together. We were a family. Like sisters, all of us would just sit there and have tons of things to talk about, just to pass the time waiting for the bell to ring. I stood there speechlessly as I looked around that area by the library. How much bigger have I grown? Did I grow up that fast? One minute, we were sitting in a circle, singing songs and talking about movies and stories, and just having the time of our lives at 13. I'm now 15, and what has become of me? Am I or am I not the person I wished I would be at 15? Here I am, caught up in thinking about college but only 2 years ago we had no worries in this world.
A lot of people would argue with me and tell me it's pointless to be thinking about these things. But I suppose my mind is meant for bigger things. I constantly seek for bigger things than just a classroom. And I constantly seek for much more extraordinary things than just a whiteboard. It is in me, and I believe it might be in other people as well. The world is so much bigger than our own, which kind of explains why what we do or what we say, or even what we think, has a bigger impact than we usually expect.

This is why I named my blog "Constellations". Because it all connects. Everything in this world has a connection, and life is too short to be focusing on one particular thing.
Because I think that the world has something a little bigger for each of us.

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